There is no specific way to translate “culture shock” into the Indonesian language, but it can be understood as a hentakan budaya. “Culture shock” is the distressing experience of entering a new culture, when there is a great difference between the new culture and its customs and the “internal culture” (rooted in someone’s soul) of the person experiencing it.
New York City is more of a “tossed salad” rather than a “melting pot.” There are many different cultures, languages and customs all mixed together in the city, but each maintains its own identity, just like the ingredients in a salad. A carrot is still a carrot with its own specific taste and cabbage is still cabbage with its own specific taste; they don’t blend to make vegetable juice even though they are in the same bowl. New York City works the same way because the city’s ethnic groups are so large that individuals can find others of the same ethnicity and stick together.
A lady who just came to New York city from Jakarta, Indonesia, lives in Queens and seems to be managing quite well. She can walk along the streets under the subway tracks in the neighborhood where she lives and shop in the stores and the supermarkets for food and other household needs, just as she did in Indonesia. The businesses and the people in this area of the city are predominantly Asian, which makes her “feel at home.” In addition, she gets to meet other Indonesians from other parts of Queens.
For this woman, the transition to life in New York City hasn’t been tough; she hasn’t experienced culture shock. The truth is that this woman is trapped in her own comfort zone. She is quite comfortable because she found a place where people speak her own language and share her culture. This woman will start to look for a job in an area where Indonesians work, will continue to socialize with other Indonesians and shop where other Indonesians shop. People in similar situations as this woman adopt the same behavior.
This can be detrimental and will lead to this woman developing a “reality anxiety” because this woman will lose the confidence to deal with anyone who doesn’t speak Indonesian. Slowly she will close the door on the possibility of socializing with non-Indonesians and decide she doesn’t need to understand or speak English to survive in New York City.
Another story I can share is one of an Indonesian woman who married an American man. The couple met in Jakarta and at the time the man had a three-year contract with United Parcel Service (UPS) as a supervisor. They agreed that when the contract ended they would move to the United States.
Like many Indonesians the woman believed that the United States was “the land of milk and honey.” She believed that her husband was a well-established man with a good income and had a high position at work. She based this on their life in Indonesia, where his salary from the shipping company afforded them a very high standard of living.
The man transferred to the New York UPS office and went back to being a package deliverer. He wore the required brown uniform, drove a large truck, which he loaded and unloaded, and used a dolly to carry the heavy packages for delivery to customers, some who tipped him and others who yelled at him. In Indonesia, he was a supervisor, wore a tie everyday, carried a briefcase, had his own office with a private secretary, and lived in a large house with three maids.
The woman felt deceived and was embarrassed to have a blue-collar worker as a husband, particularly since she came from a wealthy family. She couldn’t understand why they had left their fancy home in Indonesia for a small two bedroom house with no backyard or maid, which they had to pay the mortgage on. The woman was upset because in Indonesia they had eaten in fancy restaurants and in New York she had to cook, because the house didn’t have a washing machine and she had to push the laundry cart to the laundromat.
Unfortunately the young couple’s marriage ended sadly. The woman was unwilling to learn or adopt to the new customs or culture and insisted on returning to Indonesia. The man’s job was no longer in Indonesia and he needed to work for another 14 years before he could retire.
UPS is a well established company that many people would like to work for. The man received a salary that afforded them a middle-class lifestyle As a worker there he was able to get health, dental and vision insurance for the entire family and buy property, a car and life insurance as well. It is too bad that his wife was blind to this.
Dear Brothers and Sisters, there is so much to learn in this life. Every part of the world has its own language, weather, custom and culture. Here are some examples:
* Burping is totally fine in Indonesia – in some countries it is a sign that a guest enjoyed the meal that their host had served them. In the United States burping is a big “no.”
* In the United States children are expected to look their parents in the eye when they are being spoken to. In Indonesia it would be considered very insulting to the parent if the child did that.
* Indonesians feel embarrassed to take used stuff from the sidewalk or to buy used goods from a thrift store, while many Americans find nothing wrong with that.
* Farting is fine in the United States because it is something you can’t control, but it is quite embarrassing for an Indonesian.
Culture shock is very normal, but what matters is how we deal with it. It can be very upsetting and distressing. But, don’t you think that we are actually enriched by new cultures and languages? Willingness and an open heart for learning new things is the key to success in business, career and the future.
I would like to encourage all of us who are raising children in the United States to be willing to grow by learning and gaining an understanding of U.S. culture and language. (Language is not only verbal but integral to the soul as well.) Reading is a big help in increasing an understanding of a new culture. But to learn, you must do so with an open mind and a willing heart.
