Barbara A. Rall, a licensed social worker with the New Jersey Adoption Resource Clearing House and an adoptive mother of an African-American son and Korean-born daughter, believes that in order for transracial adoptions to be successful, one of the key factors includes the recognition that the adopted child needs role models of the same race or ethnicity.

Although her children are now grown, during their childhood Rall selected neighborhoods carefully.

“I lived in mixed neighborhoods,” said Rall, who is white.

If the goal of the adoptive parent is to help the child develop a positive cultural identity, heeding Rall’s advice is tantamount.

Liz and Dan Grudus of Monmouth County, N.J., are white adoptive parents of two African-American daughters, Lauren, three, and Rachel, five.

At one time, Liz Grudus was faced with infertility issues, but now she seems delighted with the choice to adopt transracially.

“When we decided to move forward and the agency called us to put us in touch with Lauren’s birth mother, we were willing to work with whatever was presented to us,” Liz said.

Open adoptions can present their own set of complications, however, the Grudus contact with the birth mother proceeded smoothly.

“We had several meetings with her and we forged a good relationship. For instance, we went shopping together. She wanted to pick out Lauren’s outfit,” Liz said.

Despite the positive emotional experiences, some tough moments emerged for Liz and Dan Grudus. “Three days after Lauren was born, we took custody of her and it was very hard for all of us. I was holding Lauren and her birth mother kissed her and said: ‘I love you so much. Be good for them.’ We left the hospital together,” Liz said.

Lauren’s 26-year-old birth mother did not discuss with Liz and Dan how the child should be raised, nor did she show any particular feelings advocating that her child should be encouraged to develop her African-American identity.

But both Liz and her husband understood the importance of providing their new child with information about her ethnic background.

“We are a public family and we know they are going to have to connect with their own heritage later on. We want to help them move towards that,” Liz said.

As an active member of an adoptive parent support group, Liz realizes she and her family face many challenges ahead.

“For those considering transracial adoption, it is important they know loving your children is not enough. Among other things, it involves constant growing,” she said.

Liz and Dan have reflected on how they will help their children deal with racial discrimination. “We’ll make them aware of prejudice, but now it is too premature to say. We are taking courses at Rutgers [University] on such issues as building a child’s self-esteem. We realize we have a long road ahead of us,” Liz said.

The support group and the classes she is taking have motivated Liz to seek out African-American role models for her children, “from doctors, to teachers,” she added.

Sometimes white couples adopting Black children have had to deal with curious and sometimes rude comments from strangers.

“You are dealing with questions and looks. For example, in the supermarket, someone once said ‘Where did you get them from?’ Some people try to find out if I have an African-American husband,” Liz said.

The children too have become observant and notice contrast with their parents.

“Sometimes when I am doing their hair, Lauren will say, ‘I’m brown, Rachel is brown, and daddy and mommy are white.’ I consider we are laying the groundwork for the next several years,” said Liz.

Joseph Crumbly, a family therapist with the North American Council on Adoptable Children in St. Paul, Minn., raised many relevant questions on the development of racial identity in his book, Transracial Adoption and Foster Care.

Crumbly writes: “Because children from minority groups (Asian, Latino, African-American, Native American) who experience prejudice or discrimination are subject to developing a negative racial identity, they require monitoring. The should not be expected to develop a positive racial identity without support from their families, role models and the community.”

Leora Neal, a social worker with the National Association of Black Social Workers, says that adoptive parents not sharing their child’s racial group need to become aware of the child’s unique needs to develop an understanding of their roots. “The adoptive parents must become part of the child’s community,” she said.

Since 1972, the National Association of Black Social Workers has taken a firm stand against the placement of Black children in white homes. According to the organization, “We affirm the position of Black children in Black families where they belong physically, psychologically, and culturally in order that they receive a total sense of themselves and develop sound projection of their future.”

Like Rall, Crumbley, a supporter of allowing children to cultivate their cultural roots, offers advice for white adoptive parents. “As an advocate, the parent models for the child how to advocate for themselves. Confronting prejudice and discrimination on the child’s behalf is no longer optional once the parent adopts transracially,” he said.

For more information on adoption or adoption support groups, visit: www.njarch.org, or call (973) 763-2041.