Rosalba Polanco has been working for over a decade for the equality and development of women in various city organizations. But in her youth, in the 1980s, even she had to ask permission to see a boy she’d fallen in love with.

“He lived in Santo Domingo and in Santiago (Dominican Republic),” she recalled. “At that time it was inconceivable to tell your parents you’d fallen in love with a boy. That would have been a great lack of respect.”

Her daughter, Auretnisse Santos, is 14 and does not yet date, but if her parents were to tell her whom she could and could not see, she would answer, “That’s not the way it is. I decide whom I want to be with. If my parents agree, then fine. If not, it’s the same to me.”

A conversation with these two women, and with Aurora Polanco, mother and grandmother of Rosalba and Auretnisse, reveals the progress that has been made in women’s social integration in the past decades, as well as the obstacles and prejudices that still persist.

“My mama had 12 children; she devoted all her life to having kids,” said Aurora, 62. She, on the other hand, had only one child, Rosalba. Although Rosalba only made it through the fifth grade, as was common in her day in the Dominican Republic, she succeeded in opening her own business selling clothes and household products after divorcing her husband.

One can say that Rosalba is the archetype of the modern woman: she went a step further than her mother and studied at the university level, became a professional, and now juggles work and family life. But her personal experience does not mean there is equality.

“We’ve got to see that inequality persists. Although many so-called modern men say we’re already equal, that’s not the way it is,” said Rosalba.

For example, she recalls being fired after giving birth to Auretnisse; her boss, a man, told her simply that she was spending too much time at home.

Even though this insult was met with sanctions by the Equal Employment Opportunities Commission, which negotiated a monetary settlement for Rosalba with her former employer, the mere fact that she was dismissed after giving birth points up the lack of social services and regulations which would allow for women’s educational and professional development.

Rosalba thinks that “things like day-care services close to work places, or flexible hours for mothers and fathers, should be legislated.”

Inequalities in men’s and women’s salaries continue, as well as in the relative numbers of each gender in the higher realms of politics and business administration.

Commitment by the world’s governments to implement policies promoting gender equality is precisely what the Conference on the Rights of Women, presently being held at the United Nations, is seeking to solidify. Though UN Secretary General Kofi Annan said that in the past decade “we have seen tangible progress on many fronts, like the rise in life expectancy and the increase in educational levels and in earnings,” he pointed out new areas of concern, like the traffic in women and girls and the increase in AIDS cases among women.

The conference will mark the celebration of International Women’s Day, established in 1975, the 8th of March.

Seated at the offices of the Sisters Mirabal Family Center (Centro Familiar Hermanas Mirabal), a Bronx organization which promotes progress for women and is directed by her mother, Auretnisse is certainly a different sort of adolescent than her mother. Aurora recalled, “When I was a teenager, the mothers came and got us from school and took us home.” Auretnisse calls herself a person “with strong opinions.” She detests President Bush. She is an honors student and wants to use her education to become an immigration lawyer, or perhaps a senator.

But the idea of gender inequality is not foreign to her either. “If guys have sex, nothing happens; if a woman has sex, she’s a prostitute,” she gives as an example. “It shouldn’t be that way.”

If she has children, Auretnisse is going to teach them “that men and women are equals.” If she happens to have a daughter, she will push her to succeed. “So she’ll get to be equal to or better than me,” she explained.

Equality, by law

1839: Mississippi is the first state to grant women the right to won property, with their husbands’ permission.

1848: Hundred of women and men at Seneca Falls, NY, sign the Declaration demanding an end to discrimination against women.

1869: First women’s suffrage law approved in Wyoming.

1890: Wyoming is first state to grant women the right to vote in all elections.

1920: Ratification of 19th Amendment to the Constitution, which says that civil rights may not be limited by reason of gender.

1936: Contraceptives approved for medical use.

1963: Equal Pay for Equal Work law mandates that men and women must receive the same remuneration for the same work.

1964: Civil Rights Law passed, whose Article VII says women may not be discriminated against in the work place on account of their sex.

1972: Supreme Court rules that contraceptives may be used outside of marriage.

1973: Supreme Court legalizes abortion.

1974: Congress makes gender discrimination in access to housing and credit illegal.

1994: Congress adopts law mandating gender equality in education. Violence Against Women law makes sexual abuse and violence a civil rights violation.

2003: The Partial Birth Abortion law prohibits a certain type of abortion. No exception for women whose lives are in danger because of the pregnancy.

2004: The largest protest march in U.S. history converges on Washington to protest the government’s attempts to criminalize abortion.

2005: Supreme Court refuses to reopen the case that legalized abortion.

The employment gap in figures

*Three fifths of women in the U.S. were employed in 2002.

*In 2002, women made 78 percent as much as men, but Hispanic women made 88 percent as much as Hispanic men.

*From 1979 to 2002, women’s wages increased by 27 percent (and men’s by 17 percent.)

*Thirty-four percent of women are professionals (19 percent of Hispanic women) but women continue to occupy the majority of the most poorly-paid jobs.

*Since 1975, the number of employed women with children under 18 has grown from 47 percent to 72 percent.

*From 1983 to 2002, the number of women in administrative and executive positions has almost doubled, to 34 percent.

*Thirty percent of employed men and women have college educations.

*Forty percent of business are owned by women.

*In 59 percent of marriages, both partners work, and the women’s salaries represent 34 percent of family income.

*Twenty-four percent of women earn more than their husbands, but women are twice as likely to be paid below the minimum wage.

—Source: Bureau of Employment Statistics