One of these days, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security will issue an order that because of the terrorists’ creativity and high-tech proficiency, we will all have to fly naked.
Proctology may also become a career of choice because thousands need to be hired to make sure we don’t have bombs hidden in our butt-cracks or detonators hanging from our ding-a-lings. In that regard, Viagra may be among the drugs that may not be carried on board because it could be considered a triggering device.
I don’t mean to be facetious of the security measures being undertaken in the aftermath of an aborted attempt in Britain to blow up airliners. But George W. Bush started it.
“We are safer now than before we invaded Iraq,” our dear President said. My immediate reaction was: he was just kidding. Only a pathological liar or someone as clueless as an alien could have pulled it off with such a straight face.
I mean, the most dangerous man in the world, the person responsible for 9/11, is still out there making videos and Bush expects us to feel safer?
The war in Iraq continues to drain our coffers as it continues its tailspin into civil war, as his own generals have admitted, and he expects us to believe we are winning?
Israel’s incursion into Lebanon is turning whatever sympathy the United States has in the Muslim world into hatred and he says we are winning the war on terrorism?
The cost of the Iraq war is estimated to top a trillion dollars. The U.S. casualty count is inching up toward 3,000, notwithstanding the fact that American stature and credibility have gone down the drain as a result of the arrogant belief that we can crush our enemies with “shock and awe.”
Oh, yeah, remember that Bush military doctrine? Apparently the Israelis got hold of a copy of the Dick and Don playbook in Iraq, incredibly enough apparently not knowing that it didn’t work. They thought their U.S.-supplied F-15s, F-16s and other sophisticated weaponry in its arsenal would put those miserable Hezbollah terrorists out of their misery.
Apparently Mao Tsetung’s guerrilla philosophy wasn’t part of the syllabus in U.S. and Israeli military schools because in the deceased Chinese leader’s famous (or, depending on one’s perspective, infamous) Red Book, is a line that says, “Know your enemy.”
It’s obvious that Israel, which now has to call in its reservists, wasn’t aware of Hezbollah’s military capabilities.
Now we’re bogged down in Iraq and can’t figure out a way to get out. In the meantime, Israel is increasingly being seen as a bully in a volatile neighborhood that is the Middle East.
And George W. Bush continues to insist the world is safer now because of America’s war on terror.
Oh, by the way, boob implants may also be declared a national security risk because the silicone or whatever gel or liquid used in these esteem-enhancing procedures could in fact be made into explosive devices if injected with Red Bull.
Just kidding.
