An Irish woman living in California is warning Irish mothers in the United States to be aware of laws under the Hague Convention pertaining to taking their children out of the country without the permission of their father.

[The primary intention of the Convention is to preserve whatever status quo child custody arrangement existed immediately before an alleged wrongful removal or retention thereby deterring a parent from crossing international boundaries in search of a more sympathetic court. The Convention entered into force between the signatory nations on December 1, 1983.]

Brenda (not her real name – she prefers an alias to protect the identity of her daughter) said she is victim of the Hague Convention rules that insisted she return from Ireland to the United States with her daughter after her husband issued her with divorce papers.

Brenda, from Co. Waterford, met her husband from Co. Roscommon in San Francisco. They dated for a while, fell in love, got pregnant and eventually got married in 2008.

"I met my ex in San Francisco. I was traveling. He lived here. The plan was to always move home for our daughter's schooling," Brenda told the Irish Voice recently.

The early days of the marriage were good. It wasn't until the couple moved to Oakland, California, that the relationship became strained.

"It was here my ex discarded us," said Brenda.

After life became somewhat difficult with her husband, Brenda went home to Ireland on vacation with her daughter in July 2008. After a few weeks there her husband then broke the news to her over the phone that he wanted the marriage to end.

"He told me to stay in Ireland," said Brenda. "I wanted to stay in Ireland with my daughter as we had always planned it that way anyway. All our family live in Ireland and we always talked about moving home to Ring in Co. Waterford. And, I had nothing to come back to here."

Her husband's brother served her with divorce papers not long after.

"I found out he wanted a divorce when his brother came down to Waterford with a friend of his. He handed me the papers while I was in the garden playing with my daughter," Brenda said.

As Brenda tried to piece her life back together with the support of her family in Ireland, her husband wanted to see his daughter on a continual basis. Brenda wanted to keep her in Ireland.

After several fights about the situation, with Brenda telling him she wanted to stay in Ireland and bring her daughter up there like they planned, she received another letter this time concerning her daughter. Her husband had issued proceedings under the Hague Convention demanding her return to the United States with her daughter.

"I received the Hague papers in January 2009 from a guy from a Dublin law firm representing my husband," she says.

That March Brenda was summoned by the Irish High Court to return to the United States with her child. She was heartbroken.

Brenda feels she didn't receive a fair trial.

"They (courts) expedite Hague cases so I don't believe that I got a fair trial or due process," she tells the Irish Voice. "I also wanted to have my case heard in Irish (Gaelic) but because of the time I could not. The judge also insinuated that I was only doing this to delay.

"I don't think it is fair at all. This is an awful draconian law that needs to be changed. It's basically one size fits all and every case is not taken on its own merits."

Moving back to the United States was the last thing she wanted to do. And since her return, her life has been miserable she says.

Brenda has little or no money. She lives in a rough neighborhood of Oakland.

"Oakland is always in the top five most dangerous places to live in the United States. I have been mugged once since I got back and I live in fear," she says.

"I didn't get my car back – my ex has three. Everything was in his name; I was very naive," she said emotionally. "I have nothing except my daughter and I'm lost."

Brenda and her ex share custody of their daughter. When her daughter isn't with her she gets very lonely.

"I did have a job but lost it. The economy is very bad here and I don't have a car so the kind of work I can get is very limited," she explains. "I just wish so much that I could be back in Ireland with my daughter and family."

Brenda issues a warning to other Irish girls planning to get married and have children in the United States. "I want to warn other young Irish women traveling that this law exists and that you have to be careful even if your spouse says you're going to move home. Take heed and take the necessary steps to protect yourself," she warns.

"Have your child at home and get an Irish passport immediately and move there if that is where you want to be."

Brenda feels her daughter is not going to get the best chance at life growing up in Oakland. They need to stay near her father.

"I absolutely think it would be in my daughter's best interest to be brought up in Ireland, where she has a great community and culture and most of all family. In my zip code alone [in Oakland] we have about a hundred sex offenders," she said. "I hope something can be done as I'm not the only Irish girl living like this in a foreign country. The Hague needs to be changed. Brenda said if other victims of the Hague Convention would like to contact her, they can do so at: victimsofhague@yahoo.com.