Back in the early 1990s, the word “embargo” became an integral part in the lexicon of Haitian culture. Songs were written about it, and jokes were created to cope with it.

Haiti, poor as it is, had not known any official sanctions in centuries. So everyone was puzzled. In a television interview a soldier was asked what he would do when the embargo comes. His response was that he would shoot it if it comes by air, he would shoot it if it comes by sea. I never saw that interview myself, but many trusted colleagues told me that it’s true and not another urban legend.

It’s interesting that a decade later that the E word is being bandied about once again in the annals of Haitian politics. This time, however, the other side is the one crying foul. It seems that every other word out of the administration of President Jean Bertrand Aristide is “embargo.” They argue that all would be fine in the country if only the embargo was lifted.

This comment has made U.S. Ambassador Brian Dean Curran bristle. To start, the United States gave Haiti at least $75 million for various humanitarian aid last fiscal year, and that assistance package is not expected to decline.

So what about this embargo that Aristide and his supporters are talking about. Haiti was promised a loan package of $500 million from the International Development Bank, the World Bank, the International Monetary Fund and some other institutions.

Of course, the loons were not automatic and conditions were placed on them, most of which the Haitian government has failed to live up to. As a result, they have been held up until the conditions are met.

Meanwhile, the Haitian government is paying money on these loans that haven’t been doled out. But that’s not even their problem with the whole thing. The government has led a campaign to convince everyone, including themselves, that all would be well in the Western Hemisphere’s most beleaguered country, if those fund were released. They blame the suffering of the people on this elusive $500 million.

Let’s decipher this situation, Haiti—which needs everything such as potable water, schools, roads, electricity, agricultural advancements, legal reforms—would be fine with $500 million in loans. That sum is paltry, and there is precious little that a country can do with it. It is a lot of money for individuals, and perhaps that’s what got some people rankled because sport utility vehicles had been promised and there is no peace in the pockets of some officials. Therefore, they are under an embargo.

I’m for releasing that money if it will reduce the AIDS rate and improve the school system. I have spent sleepless nights coming up with a plan to deliver my birthplace from the bad international community that is bent on destroying the pearl of the Antilles.

Forget about these alphabet soup organizations. I know a good guy who can help. Let’s talk to our friend, Mayor Michael Bloomberg. He spent $65 million on his campaign in 2001 and has plenty of expendable cash laying out. In fact, he still has few billions left. He’s got a Haitian constituency, and if he were to do something like that, we can guarantee the Haitian vote for re-election. If Bloomberg is tight for cash, there are others in this country who can open their pocketbooks and help deliver Haiti.

Since the stock market has been taking a beating, these American fat cats may be low in cash these days. So I have another suggestion: the Haitian government should stop paying these high-powered lobbyists that it hired to plant nice stories about them in the American media and lobby Congress and the White House to release these funds. The Haitian government should put a ration on the gasoline for its bureaucrats .

Another way the government might get the money is to pocket the remittances that Haitians living abroad sent back to relatives. That money is misspent anyway, and the government knows best how to use it. If my calculation is correct, we’re nearly doubling the magical goal of $500 million.

It is estimated that there are more than one million Haitians living in the United States. Let’s all donate $50 each to the Haitian government. So, who needs the international community? We’re a fiercely proud and independent people, and we should not rely on anyone to help us. We can help ourselves. Our country needs us; let’s rally around Aristide for the sake of the country. I know that the Haitian parliament will never pass a bill granting you the right to vote in Haitian elections. Who cares, let bygones be bygones. Haiti, our country, is under an embargo and funds are being depleted fast. As a bonus, if you give the money, Aristide can finish his term so we won’t have him to kick around anymore. Remember, the U.S. president who said that. He resigned when his impeachment was a foregone conclusion.