The one who has run for office most often is a Republican gynecologist. Why would a doctor so badly want to stain himself with the dirt of political games? As people from Odessa would put it, is the New York City Council an abortion clinic or a family planning institute?
There's also a computer programmer who's declared his intentions to run for nothing less than a Senate seat.
Who are these people? Who pushed them forward? Are they spiritual leaders of our community who have done something special for us? Who is backing them and why should I give them my vote?
The following fruitful and new idea has been introduced into the Brighton Beach consciousness: we are half a million strong and we need to have our own representative in the City Council to defend the interests of the "Russian community."
I ask, from whom exactly do we need to be defended and what exactly is the "Russian community"? We are all very different here. If you look at us by religion you will see Jews, Russian Orthodox Christians, Catholics, Sectarians, Buddhists, and the majority, atheists. If examined by ethnic nationalities, then there are among us representatives of almost all 130-ethnic nationalities of the former Soviet Union.
I've downed drinks with a group of Chukchian Jews, (I wonder if the head Chukcha of Russia, Roman Abramovich, is aware of their existence). I've met with Yakutian Jews who've told me the story of how they managed to smuggle their ancient Torah scroll out of the Soviet Union. I've roasted shish kabobs with the Mountain Jews of Kabardino-Balkaria who invited me to the first synagogue they built in Brooklyn. A Georgian Jew even tried to prove that American apples are wrong because they are missing the worm inside. I even know a Latvian-Armenian and an Armenian Jew. I know former Communists who were Russians back in the Soviet Union, but who have now made a professional career out of being Jewish.
The one thing we are all bound by is this great and mighty language in which we all think and speak. What kind of community is that, though? Some business owners sell benches, the intellectuals hide in their homes, the religious go to pray and we all go to Russian-speaking doctors and restaurants, the best of which are operated by Bukharian Jews. The idea of having "our" people in the structures of American government is wonderful, if it weren't totally futile.
An elected leader ought to represent not just one ethnic group but all individuals within the boundaries of the respective district. The Hindus, the Italians, the Pakistanis, the Russians, the Chinese, the Blacks and even the homosexuals must be represented. Not only Russians occupy Brighton. The buyer of a lucky multi-million dollar winning lottery ticket, a Brighton resident, turned out to be Vietnamese, not Russian. The hero of a local synagogue fiasco was an Arab living in Brighton.
Why should a cleanliness-loving gynecologist necessarily represent this Arab, this Vietnamese, Italian, Georgian, and Armenian?
Sakharov, in honor of whom a plaza in front of the United Nations is named, wrote in his memoir: "Humankind can grow harmoniously only as one family, without distinctions of nationality, in any sense, other than history and tradition." The Sakharovian theory of convergence is being enacted right here in the United States, where people live daily by this principle.
"We are many and we need to show that we are a political force" is what the self-proclaimed "leaders" drum into the minds of easily persuaded inhabitants. I ask, who put these so-called "leaders" in these positions anyway? If the children of the various ethnic groups came together and said: "Hey you, you are a good American and we don't care what your ethnicity is and we like you because you've done this and that to improve our neighborhood and that's why we want you to represent us," then it would be a different story.
They, however, speak of a parochial patriotism, corporatism even. "We need to support Russian-owned businesses, we need to have our own voice." "Our people need to get into positions of power." "Our" people?! One can’t help but recall the immortal words of M.E. Satkov-Shedrin, "If patriotism is what they’re speakin’, you can bet they’ll soon be thievin’.”
Firmly backing the entire elections fuss is "Russian" business—not the small-time Russian-owned businesses located here in Brighton, but the massive one, holding fast in the shadows. Although the local Russian business is indirectly tied to the other one, it doesn't require quotation marks. It's there, across the ocean, and often criminally involved. We are often reassured that the Russian mafia does not exist in New York or the United States, that it is an invention of the American journalists chasing a sensational story. However, the New York office of the FBI maintains an entire department devoted to fighting Russian organized crime. According to the skeptics, they are fighting that which is not here. Yet, it can't be a fictitious battle if colossal amounts of taxpayer resources are devoted to this fight. The naysayer response is: "the Americans are hard and jaded but we are sensitive and clean as lamb’s wool, and our political candidates are being discriminated against."
I'll even grant them that "our" fighters for justice are in fact decent people, but I cannot help but recall the attempts of American businessmen to make independent decisions in recent years in Russia. The owner of the majority stake in the Moscow Radisson Hotel was gunned down upon exiting the subway. Countless others have been killed in the street, and many in their own homes, or "tossed out" as it is now commonly called.
The “monastery” of Russian criminal business tied to politics and special interests, accepts Americans if the latter inject dollars into Russian undertakings. Russian businesses make sure that these adventurous souls, if still alive, will be cursing in the foul Russian language, which was their only acquisition in Russia.
Now, let’s say that our local “Russian” business, having arranged for itself a defense shield in the local political structures, brings its people here from over there. Although dystopian, this scenario is still plausible: the mayor of the capital of the world is a former KGB general, the main square is decorated by propaganda sculptures, Wall Street banks become Russian money laundromats washing away criminal origins, in the south Bronx a little “Chechnya” war breaks out, and at the office of the New York councilman you are politely asked “what can we do for you, kike,” and at Columbia University lectures on international law are given by a lawyer/mafia enforcer.
I hope you don’t imagine this even in your worst nightmares. That’s why we need to think long and hard before we go to the polls. Victor Shenderovich spoke poignantly on this issue when he said, “If sons-of-bitches come to power, a dog’s life begins for all.”
In America they steal too. As its great citizen Mark Twain said: “If you steal a loaf they’ll put you in the paddy wagon, if you steal a railroad they’ll put you in Congress.” There’s no need to look back at history for examples. It’s enough to remember the recent corporate scandals where tens of millions of dollars were stolen, no taxes paid on untold amounts. At the 5th Avenue home of one corporate schemer, solid gold wastebaskets were discovered, while the marina had a small fleet of his luxury yachts.
I don’t think poorly of the people from our community who tenaciously attempt to break into the political arena. It is not them I fault, but those who push these people forward. There’s nothing wrong with loving fame, so long as it’s for admirable reasons. But if there is a team behind all this seeking connections to the political structure, such as the immortal mafia, then it’s a very different story.
It was not meant for this crow to fly among the hills. Step too wide and you’ll rip your pants. These are Russian proverbs. A member of our community will not be elected to the council for quite some time. Maybe our grandsons will be able to pull it off, if they apply themselves, because they are not affected by the slave mentality we suffer from. As for us, we are only American by the virtue of our passport; in reality we are as the old communist line said: “A communion of nations brought together by history; that is the Soviet people.” Let’s calm ourselves with the words of Mark Twain: “A truly mature person must consider membership in congress a vulgar proposition.”
We are not the first ones to come to this fecund land from across the ocean. There was another wave of immigration, made up of intelligent, educated, civil folk. Igor Sikorskiy manufactured generations of American helicopters and cargo planes. Igor Stravinsky along with Irving Berlin created classics of American music. Vladimir Nabokov created classics of American Literature. Russian engineers worked to build bridges, were instrumental in developing television. Despite their accomplishments, none of them harbored the hope to enter American politics. Today, their progeny, already in the third generation, are real Americans with last names of Russian royalty. Still, there are no politicians among them.
Whichever way you put it, the land will became native only to our children and grandchildren. The children of the first wave, the ones who were born here and proudly wear their royal surnames, never use the word “community.” They use the word “society.” To be accepted in “society” is an honor bestowed upon few. To nominate yourself to a position of political influence is demeaning for them. We, on the other hand, are not yet off the boat and already reaching for the wheel: “Hey, Yankee, let me drive!”
Politics, just like show-business, is about big money. To get into it, you need to pay. Just remember how much is spent here on any election campaign. How much was spent by the likes of Bush and Bloomberg on their own campaigns. Besides, Bloomberg is, practically, one of us—a son of Jewish immigrants from Poland. He made his millions in the 60’s, joining the stock market with television and inventing the running ticker—and so was born the global media empire in his name. Those who want to work alongside the mayor, and to advise him, need to show considerable diligence. To an outside observer, our upstart methods look laughable. Especially if this observer looks on from Brighton, where people still have not learned to clean up after themselves.
This story won Honorable Mention in our Ippies Awards in the category of Best Article on Immigrant Issues: Division B.
